I hate myself for having these thoughts.. but what else is new?

I know I shouldn't let myself fall into this territory I forbid myself from but giving up seems more realistic than it has been for awhile now.

I'm so jealous of you and everyone else who can just push forward for the sake of pushing forward..

I hate that I let myself be left behind by everyone..

But I just can't find my reason to push forward.. I doubt there even is one out there for me.

Without my emotions to motivate me.. I just can't move..

And seeing me as empty and starved for affection as I am..


It seems once again like the end of the line for me.